Mini-Kiss

I'm at a loss for words yet again. Mini Kiss is, of course, a Midget Kiss Band. I wonder if they are any good?

Little Entertainment also has little Elvis and a midget stripper.

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Photoshop This Boob!

I'm a chump, a dweeb and a buffoon, but this guy takes the cake. I call for a Fark-esque Photoshopping contest. Don't worry- I'll email each entry directly to the guy.

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Prankster Makes Buffoon Of Starbucks

I don't know how to explain this. Amazing. Take the time and read the whole thing.

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Smug Bitch Moans About Prison Food

It seems that Prison food isn't quite good enough for out Dear friend, Martha Stewart. Luckily, she's had lots of time to think about Television whilst in the joint.

I am fine, really. I look forward to being home, to getting back to my valuable work, to creating, cooking, and making television. I have had time to think, time to write, time to exercise, time to not eat the bad food, and time to walk and contemplate the future. I've had my work here too. Cleaning has been my job – washing, scrubbing, sweeping, vacuuming, raking leaves, and much more. But like everyone else here, I would rather be doing all of this in my own home, and not here -- away from family and friends.

Read the whole thing. What a bitch.

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Backfire: Turning Pickets Into Pledges

Planned Parenthood has started a new program to make money off of Protesters. What a beautiful concept: People pledge between a quarter and a dollar for each Picket that shows up. So far, they've made eighteen thousand dollars off of this project.

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Elvis' Creepy Daughter To Sell Estate

Everybody knows this... I assume that it is all over the news. Lisa Marie Presley is selling Elvis' Estate for $100million bucks and retaining posession of the little house on the hill. There is bout $25mil debt involved, but Elvis earns over Forty Million Bucks each year doing nothing but decomposing! I'm sure that there is much I don't know about the situation, but clearing forty million is pretty good for a dead guy. Damned if I'd let loose of that checkbook.

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New Punk Comp: 80's Berkeley Bands

How Punk-- Two giant MP3 files-One for each side of the tape- availaple for download. Great old punk rock with all the crappy recording and everything else so good about the good old days.

"Lest We Forget" was originally compiled and released by Aaron Elliot of the acclaimed fanzine Cometbus (and drummer for Crimpshrine and Pinhead Gunpowder) in 1991 to document the Berkeley punk scene of the 80's. I don't want to be accused of wild exaggeration by saying the music here is exactly essential (although there's some great stuff here) but it is absolutely essential to appreciate the why, who, and how of what was being created at the time. Their output has had a significant impact on today's music. You can connect the influential dots from this tape to Maximum Rock'n'Roll to Operation Ivy to Green Day to whatever indie/punk act you're listening to right now.

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KRUCOFF'S TOP

Frog Meets Mouse, Frog Eats Mouse

Now here's something you don't see every pay: A photo sequence of a frog eating a baby mouse. I didn't know that frogs ate mice. Whaddya know.

Learn something new every day.
Somewhat disturbing, but should be fun to Photoshop.

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Picture Appears On Internet- COMPLETELY Freaks Out Blogger

Not work/child friendly. I am otherwise speechless.
Curious as to how I ran across the image? I did a Google image search for "idiot."
The fault is mine and mine alone, yet I share the sickness with all.

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Flash Mob, But Actually Entertaining

Improv Everywhere is absolutely astounding. They are a NYC group improv group that gather and cause minor mayhem. My kinda folks.
Be sure to go through the "Conquests" page. Pure Genius.

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Namco Plans Ramen-Noodle Theme Park-Blogger Laughs At Absurdity

Yup, You read right- A Ramen-Noodle theme Park set to open up sometime in February. I've gotta get a Tee-Shirt from that place: "My mamasan went to Raman-Noodle-Land and all I got was this rousey Tee-Shirt."

Hilarity ensues.

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Fly Lands In Beer- Creeps Out Blogger

So all is hunky-dory in this blogger's world. Sitting and scouring the internets looking for news, listening to Agent Orange and having beers. The last swill of the last beer, my tongue met a strange, meaty substance not commonly found in beer. Was it a cigarette butt? No, I don't live in a Frat House. Was it a mouse? Wouldn't shock me... It was a friggin' FLY! Little bastard had drunk about half my beer before drowning!

I shall keep him, mount him on some foam core and frame the sucker.

He has earned the right to be in my permanant collection of Buzz-Kills.

No pun intended.

If You Didn't Know, Microsoft BLOWS!

So... today, I rescued all valuable data from my PC, burned it on cd, reformatted my drive and proceeded to reinstall WinXP. I've got a real-live CD and a real live serial number. No illegal crap happening. when asked for the serial, I typed it in, and XP told me that it was an invalid key. I double checked. Typed the key in again. Tripple checked. Typed again. Time after time, I got the same response.

So I called Microsoft. They offered to sell me a new CD Key for ten bucks. I told them that I had a key, but it wasn't working with the OS it was packaged with. The little girl on the other end smugly asked me if I was sure that I had typed the key in properly. It seems that since I typed in the correct numbers and letters and it didn't work, I now owe Microsoft ten dollars for a new key.

I am typing this from a newly resurected PC running Mandrake Linux.

OOPSIE!

I've been out working on the road for the past week or so and haven't had time to blog. Sadly, I'm pretty booked up this week, too. More posts will likely show up Thursday night or Friday. Until then, scroll down and enjoy the hand-knitted Uterus.

How To Knit A Uterus

Yup-- Everything has suddenly gone down the tubes, so to speak. This site offers a how-to on knitting a uterus.
knitty.com: "It's not completely anatomically accurate. I've taken a few liberties with the general shape and scale, as well as leaving out the ligaments connected to the ovaries. And, of course, the human uterus is not normally bubblegum pink."

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